intent to vacate...

just did the notice... weirdly enough.. I actually started to worry today that maybe we were making a bad decision to move.. .money wise I am pretty scared about it all... the upfront cost of moving is big...

was just about to say that we need to back out and live with our current house... till jason got home to find the air conditioner out... again... called the landlord and she was furious and got angry with US about it.... ...... that just confirmed that we really are making the right decision.

ps... just saw a clip on tv from an old all my children... looks like dr baker on days of our lives wasnt that guys first job... LOL.

my artwork

lap band

so I had my first appointment. the doc said that the average weight loss with the band is 50% of excess fat... meaning... since I am 100 pounds overweight... I would typically lose 50 pounds.. which would put me right at 200 pounds in 2-3 years... not good enough... however, he said that this is average weight loss... for the people that rely on the band alone.. and that counts those that cheat the system (only cheating themselves) and lose no weight or gain... so ... if in 3 years, I am only down to 200 pounds.. I have nobody to blame but me... I really think that this is all I will need to help me... the band is a tool to help you feel full after very small portions... since my main problem is that I can't stand to feel hungry.. I think I'll be good.. and... the only reason I am not active is because I am just too darn tired... I still want the band.. am looking forward to it... just hope I can pay the copay and out of pocket to get it.

glazing

today I learned an important lesson. When glazing pottery, really really really make sure you do not get wax resist on your finger and touch a part of the pot that you would prefer to have glaze on. if you do, the pot will have glaze everywhere and be beautiful... except that there is a fingerprint without glaze. :(

8 pots glazed.... 32ish to go... plus whatever I make tomorrow... :)

just two weeks of pottery makin left. :(

Me.

I just finished a photostory for my human development class... subject.. myself...

here is my life timeline through photos... birth to age 18

here's a link if you cant view the video here....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA2MXTU-6nA

Happy Birthday Kiersten!!!

My little girl is 2 today!!!

and the dress I bought her is 6-9 months.. .LOL.. .

pictures of the possible new house

I love this house... talked to the neighbor when we went back to take these. Kelsey made instant best friends with her daughter. The neighborhood has several police officers and retired police officers within a few houses of where we would be.

and here are the things right across the street and up a block

Moving???

So our current house has a black mold, mildew from some weird leak under the floor, issue... I think it is making my family sick. The landlord really does not seem willing to fix any problems... we are looking at yet another summer of $500 electric bills due to the home's inefficiency. (even with the bill, it is still as hot as a Nevada desert in the middle of august at 12 noon wearing all black standing in the middle of an asphalt parking lot.

SO we have been casually checking out a few places in the paper, and today we found something great. It is in a great neighborhood, great yard, great garage, great kitchen.. well adequate kitchen.. for me it can't be a great kitchen unless it is as big as the living room with more cabinet and counter space than can be possibly used even by Martha Stuart herself. ... the only thing is the bedrooms are a bit smaller than our current bedrooms, the walls desperately need to be painted (Im not a fan of naked cherubs all over my living room walls.... ), and the carpet is dirty.
The rent is a little more than what we pay now... but do-able... the biggest thing is that the realtor said the electric runs about $80 a month... that more than makes up for the cost of moving and the tiny bit higher rent...

Now... I hate moving.. and I mean I HATE moving... it is a miserable pain in my rear end, makes me cranky, causes arguments, loses sleep, irks me to the depths of my soul kindof thing... but I wonder if it is for the best... The new house is in a really cute little neighborhood.. really nice... honest to goodness neighbors... place where my kids could ride bikes and trick-or-treat... not to mention the huge tree in the front yard that would look awesome with Christmas lights (not a reason to move, but something I can envision)

what should we do......

lap band takeoff

after the trechery of last night's sleep attempts, I saw my doctor today to discuss my getting the lap band surgery. I went in prepared to convince him. I had documents from several sources, including my insurance company with their 1.2735 mile long list of requirements.
I was pleasantly surprised to discover that my doctor is very much in favor of the lap band. He is extremely supportive of my desires, and was ready to get the ball rolling. He even tried to get me referred to the bariatric surgery center here in town today.

He seems to think that he can get the insurance company to approve the surgery now, but we are going through the motions of the 6 months of medically supervised dieting. He said he thinks we can get away with 3 more months if that is needed.

I am more than excited to get this process started. There was a moment last night, while wearing the death mask, that I realized that I would not be going through this if I weren't 100+ pounds overweight. I am so extra fluffy that my body cannot sleep properly. If I didn't have all this extra insulation, then I would not be suffering from this sleep apnea, and I would not have to wear a CPAP machine at night. This is a big wake up call, as if I needed one...

anyway, I'm excited. I'll find out more soon.

oh what a night.

Seriously.
first, I got to the sleep clinic and was asked to fill out paperwork for 15 minutes. Then, she sat me in a chair and spent 45 minutes hooking me up like a surround sound system. Im not talking one of those little cheap ones... Im talking big mamma jamma system that could be used during a rock concert. I had wires in my hair, all over my face, my neck, my chest, and my legs... then I got two lovely bands of elastic around my chest. They accented my boobs in a way that was just NOT pretty.

so. After I'm all rock concerted out I get to try on all of the CPAP machine masks. If you have never had the experience of trying to breathe with one on, I highly recommend running away if asked to. It is a weird and scary experience. You feel claustrophobic, even if you have never had a trace of it. you cant breathe, even though the machine is forcing you to... and if you open your mouth, it sucks all the breath right out of you in this horrible way that makes your chest feel like you've been punched.

SO... after scaring the daylights out of me by telling me that if I have too many instances of sleep apnea (not breathing) she will come in to wake me up to wear the mask for the remainder of my stay... she shuts out the lights and tells me to have a good night....

Okay.. so it is 9:30... I am trying not to tangle myself in about 50 wires coming from all over my body... and I begin to wonder... "did I come here for a sleep study... or to be chryogenically frozen?" I also start to wonder what my chattering teeth look like on her little computer screen in the creepy watching me sleep room. What kind of person wants to watch people sleep, snore, and roll around in bed all night.

So... I toss and turn and want to go home for about an hour and a half and finally... blessed sleep comes...
but not for long... literally an hour after I finally fell asleep... she's back... and she is trying to be all cheerful about the fact that I have to put the mask on to sleep because "WOW" it isn't the WORST case of obstructive sleep apnea she's ever seen, but it only took me an hour of restless sleep to hit the number of instances that it takes most people 5 hours to hit... she's also acting like I should be excited about wearing darth vaders death mask. ........ Im not... I take this opportunity to ask her what happens if I can't go back to sleep... ... she tells me I still have to wear the mask... so then Im looking at the clock for the longest three hours of my life while freaking out every time I doze off and my mouth falls open and WHOOSH... feels like when I was 7 and I fell off the monkey bars flat on my back...
but OH... Im suppose to have a restful night's sleep now... are you KIDDING ME????
finally I fall asleep sometime around 4 thinking... an hour and a half left then you can run away...
I wake up at 5:35 with water dripping down my face from the condensation building up in the torture device. ... a drop runs in my eye and I open my mouth to gasp and WHOOSH.. there it is again...
I sat up... ripped the thing off my face and tossed it to the foot of the bed... I unplugged my monitor which made HER come in again... all perky and peppy and really .. I wanted to shove cotten up her nose for some reason... sadistic woman...
I informed her that it was now past 5:30, I needed to go to the bathroom, and I was not going to be able to go to sleep again.. could I please go home.... .
I had to fill out paperwork in my sleep deprived and weirded out mood. It actually had the nerve to ask me all hopefull like if last night's sleep was better than what I get at home.... what kind of freak world would I have to live in at home for that to be BETTER???
I have an uncomfortable bed and pillow... two kids... a husband who is no quiet little chipmunk in the bed next to me... and all I could THINK about was how I WISHED I were home in MY loud, uncomfortable bed.

SO yeah... severe obstructive sleep apnea diagnosis to help with getting the lap band....... check

if avoiding that place isnt a motivator to get the weight off any way possible.... I dont know what is

First blog...

Sleep apnea. Doesn't sound so scary. My kid has it... and apparently I do too... or maybe I do.
I will be leaving soon for my very first ever sleep study. I dont know what to take with me, what this will be like... nothing... well other than that I will have a very hard time sleeping in an empty bed with strangers watching me while Im hooked up to monitors. How weird.

This is a big step toward having insurance pay for my Lap Band surgery that I am trying to get. SO... here we go with it...